After
A levels, I took up a job in University Town, Cinnamon College, as a causal
temp staff. I helped out with management of the facilities of the building,
following contractors around. It was quite a fruitful experience as skills and
knowledge I learnt through the staffs there and contractors were practical and
useful in my everyday life. Also, after working on defects, students would
thank us and there would be a sense of accomplishment.
However,
there were times when I was not organised and was not able to ensure that the
contractors complete their job. Resulting in a delay in the completion of the
job causing a panic before the start of the new semester before the students
went back to study.
Having worked there for several months, I grew interested in this field subsequently. Thus, leading me to study my current course of study, Projects and Facilities Management. With the things I learn from this course, I seek to improve myself so that I can contribute more to the society, working more efficiently and in a more organised manner. This was a learning journey that had brought me to where I am now in NUS.
It is well written as the reflection is clear-cut and straight to the point. At some point, the reflection can be more detail in sharing the ideas or inspiration.
ReplyDeleteHi Li Min, it is great to hear that you have found your weaknesses through this working experience. Let us leverage on our undergraduate course so that we can become more efficient and productive! Cheers.
ReplyDeleteHello! I agree with Boonyew that your reflection is straight to the point, however you can work more on the details and more insights to your feelings about what went wrong, what could have been done and what would you do to prevent future occurrences!
ReplyDelete" It was quite a fruitful experience as skills and knowledge I learnt through the staffs there and contractors were practical and useful in my everyday life." -Maybe you can elaborate more on the experiences and skills, and how would you apply to your everyday life?
There are some structural errors I'd like to highlight.
"Also, after working on defects, students would thank us and there would be a sense of accomplishment." -This sentences sounds a little too informal, perhaps you could rephrase it in a way like "The sense of accomplishment I achieved, when the students expressed their gratitude to us for correcting the defects, spurred on my passion for work" or something similar
"Having worked there for several months, I grew interested in this field subsequently" -In this case, you may eliminate the word "subsequently" as "grew" already suggests that the event took place over time.
Hope you find these useful!
Blogging buddies,
ReplyDeleteYou wrote some very good suggestions on ways to improve on this piece of work. Great job and thank you for your effort.
Li Min,
ReplyDeletePlease see comments below:
Content and organisation: You organised your ideas well and met the requirements of writing a reflection. You clearly described the situation and then reflected on your weakness. However, like your blogging buddies mentioned, it would have been interesting if you gave examples of what you did and what made you learn, and how that helps you in future.
Language:
Here are some comments on your language usage.
1. Be careful using shortened forms of spelling.
I took up a job in University Town, Cinnamon College, as a causal temp staff
Temp = temporary.
2. Missing an article 'the' in this sentence: I helped out with THE management of the facilities of the building, following contractors around.
Do you know the difference between using 'the' and no article?
3. Staff is uncountable
...I learnt through the staffs there and contractors were practical and useful in my everyday life.
4. Resulting in a delay in the completion of the job causing a panic before the start of the new semester before the students went back to study.
i. Is this a complete sentence? Is there subject + verb?
ii. Can you see what is wrong with using the second 'before'
...before the start of the new semester before the students went back to study?
5. Be careful with verb forms. Grew = verb. After this verb, there should be a noun.
I grew 'interested' in this field
6. Is this a complete sentence?
Thus, leading me to study my current course of study, Projects and Facilities Management.
7. Think about the use of commas in this
sentence. What is the relationship between the parts of the sentence separated by using commas.
With the things I learn from this course, I seek to improve myself so that I can contribute more to the society, working more efficiently and in a more organised manner.
1. as a casual temporary staff.
Delete2. I helped out with the management of the facilities of the building, following contractors around.
Do you know the difference between using 'the' and no article?
If it is without 'the', I would be saying the management of facilities is a noun.
I understand why it's wrong, just unsure of how to explain the difference. :/
3. ...I learnt through the staff there and contractors were practical and useful in my everyday life.
Since staff is uncountable like water, the would not be any difference in plural form.
4. Resulting in a delay in the completion of the job causing a panic before the start of the new semester before the students went back to study.
i. Is this a complete sentence? Is there subject + verb?
This resulted in a delay in the completion of the job. The delay in the completion of the job caused a panic as the rooms were not prepared for the students who would be going back when the new semester started.
ii. Can you see what is wrong with using the second 'before'
...before the start of the new semester before the students went back to study?
Run-on. Too many ideas in a sentence? It feels like a mouthful now that I'm reading it again. :/
5. Be careful with verb forms. Grew = verb. After this verb, there should be a noun.
I grew 'interested' in this field
My interest grew in this field.
OR
I started to have interest in this field.
6. Is this a complete sentence?
Thus, leading me to study my current course of study, Projects and Facilities Management.
Does not fulfill the requirement of S +V in a sentence.
Thus, with these experience, it has led me to study my current course of study, Projects and Facilities Management.
7. Think about the use of commas in this
sentence. What is the relationship between the parts of the sentence separated by using commas.
With the things I learn from this course, I seek to improve myself so that I can contribute more to the society, working more efficiently and in a more organised manner.
With the things I learn from this course, I seek to improve myself so that I can contribute more to the society BY working more efficiently and in a more organised manner.